September Grammar Assignment
Updated: 9/26/2018
September Grammar Assignment
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  • Excuse me mam, sorry to be a bother but you look uneducated and so I'm going to educate you on phrases and clauses. Did you know that they give our sentences structure and make them interesting and give them details.
  • Sir, I am not dumb, and why are you talking to me.
  • You're excused mam. I bet you didn't know why we need semicolons and colons either. Of course you don't, you're a blond. Anyways we need semicolons to provide a break in sentences without coming to a full stop, and we use colons to provide a pause before introducing related info.
  • Sir, I don't need this in my life, please go away.
  • Yes, you are don't kid yourself. Anyway you probably also don't know a thing about dependent clauses. You see the reason they're called dependent clauses is because they're dependent on independent clauses. This means that by attaching them to the independent clauses then they can become actual sentences.
  • Actually you do need this in your life, you inferior creature. Now that we've established your place, let's establish the role of subordinating conjunctions. Subordinating conjunctions provide a transition between two ideas in a sentence. 
  • I am not stupid, despite what you may think. When I meet people like you, I feel the urge to vomit. If you teach me something again, I will call the cops.
  • I know that you think you're smart, but really you're not. Because my time is short, I'll only have time to teach you one more thing.
  • Mam, we both know you won't do that. Anyway onto our last topic, how semicolons and colons are used. Semicolons are used to join two independent clauses that related to each other. For example, "I like many colors; my favorites are black and gray." Now colons are used to introduce a list. For example, "I need to get the following items from the grocery store: milk, eggs, and grapes. Anyway, now that you've been educated. Bye.
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