The Four-Part NVC Process
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Mom: Hi Ameen. How was your day? Can I make you a snack? Ameen: (Silence - Looking down at his phone.) Mom: Ameen. Ameen: Oh, sorry, Mom. DJ was texting me about our plans for Friday. What did you say? Mom: Yes, I noticed you were on your phone. You were texting while I was talking.
Ameen: Sorry Mom: I was hoping we could talk about that actually. I see that you are done texting. Could we talk now? Ameen: Sure, then I have to head to climbing practice. Mom: Let's go sit in the living room then.
Mom: When I am speaking to you, I notice you are texting. Ameen: Yeah, sorry about that. Mom: I feel annoyed when you aren't paying attention when I'm speaking to you. Ameen: I hear you, Mom. Being on my phone is annoying you. Mom: Yes!
Mom: I value our time together and when I see you on your phone, I get annoyed. Ameen: I understand. When I'm on my phone that makes you feel annoyed. It's not respectful. Mom: I know you are busy, but we don't get a lot of time together and would like to spend that time with you and not your phone.
Mom: Would you be willing to put your phone away for 15 minutes so we could catch up? Ameen: Of course, Mom. I know you value our time together. I appreciate that. I will put my phone away and we can catch up. But first, what about that snack?
Mom: I appreciate you spending time with me. How about I make you a turkey sandwich? Ameen: I enjoy our time together too. Can I have extra turkey? Mom: Of course!
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