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  • Going to London, guv'nor?
  • Yes, jump in
  • I had a new car. It was an exciting toy. I was driving up to London. Ahead of me I saw a man thumbing a lift. I touched the brake and brought the car to stop beside him. I always stopped for hitchhikers.
  • So it is,I wish I were going with you.I love betting on horses . Then why do you go?
  • What part of London are you headed for?
  • He got in and i drove on. He was a small ratty-faced man with grey teeth.
  • I'm going right through London and out the other side.I'm  goin' to Epsom,for the races.It's Derby Day today.    I never bet on horses.I don't even watch 'em run.That's a stupid silly business
  • Who,me?What makes you think I lied?So I am.But it don't do to tell everythin" to a copper.Ashamed?Me,ashamed of my own job?I'm about as proud of it as anybody could be in the entire world!You writers are really nosy parkers,aren't you.I think you do care.You'd be right i am in a peculiar trade .Thats why i 'as to be extra careful'oo i'm talking to, you see.'ow am i to know,for instance,you're not just another copper in plain clothes?No and you don't and ain't. Any fool could tell that.I don't like that word .Me?I'm a fingersmith Of course i didn't invent it.I wouldn't nick anything from you .Your my pal.You're givin' me a lift .So he has .But i'll bet he ain't gotit all written down in his mind.Yes guv'nor,it is but the trouble is he lost the book .He's lost both books ,the one with my name and the one with yours.Thank you guv'nor.It's always nice to be appreciated.
  • What's the hurry?Perhaps there's a woman at the back having a baby and you're rushing her to the hospital?Is that it?In that case you've got yourself into a nasty mess,haven't you?And who are you?Thats more than likely,anyway you're a witness.I'll deal with you in a minute.Driver's licence.Now you,name?Address?Job?A what?Spell it.I supposeyou know you're in for serious troubleI hope they lock you up for a spellinto the bargain.Abso
  • Yes.Like you.What makes you think i'm any good at my job.It wasn't cheap.One hundred and twenty-nine miles an hour.I'll bet she will.Oh my sainted aunt!Thats torn it.I didn't knew policemotorcycles couldgo as fast as that.This is real trouble .I don't like it one bit.No hurry,officer.No officer.He's a hitchhiker.I'm giving him a lift.Yes sirYou mean prison
  • drYou write books?Writin' books is okay.It's what i call a skilled trade.The secret of life is to become very good at something' thats very 'ard to do.Exactly you and me both.You wouldn't be driving about in a car like this if you were no good at it.It must've cost a tidy packet,this little job.What can she flat out?I'll bet she won't do it.Open 'er up then and prove it.'Ave i done somethin' wrong?Michael Fish.Fourteen ,Windsor Lane,Luton.I'm an 'od carrier.An "od carrier.H-o-d-c-a-r-r-i-e-r.
  • Phew.Thats done it .I was caught ,you mean.I'm going straight to London to talk to my solicitor.Are you sure of that?
  • By the way.Why did you lie to him.You told him that you were a unemployed hod carrier.But you told me that you were highly skilled trade.So what do you do.Is it something you're ashamed of.Then why won't you tell me.I don't really care one way or another.Do i look like a copper .I've never seen anyone roll a cigarette as fast as that.Of course i noticed .It was quite fantastic.Go on then.Are you a piano player.More or less. Amazing.I think i know what you do.You do conjuring tricks.You're a conjurer.Then you're a card player .You get peopleinto card games and  deal yourself out marvellous hands.All right. I give up.Hey!Thats mine,isn't it?It is mine!Where did you get it.You mean you took it off me while we've beem driving along?Thats impossible.You hve to undo the buckleand slide it out of the loops  all the way round .I'd have seen you  do it.And if i hadn't seen you i'd have felt it.What about it.Good grief!How did you do that.Inever saw you bending down.Yes.Because you have fantastic fingers.Theres aclock in front of you.You've taken that too.I'd like it back,if you don't mind.I'm glad to hear it.What else have you got of mine?You're right.You're absolutely right.So you're a pick pocket what do you call yourself then.I've never heard of that word before .Did you invent it
  • We was caught.We was caught god and proper.Thats right.What you goin; to do now,guv'nor .You mustn't  believe what he said about goin' to prison.They don't put someone in the clink just for speeding.I'm positive.They can take your licence away and they can give you a whoppin' big fine,but that'll e the end of it.
  • It must be an interesting job.And thats why you go to the races.That's very thoughtful of you.How often do you get caught.I don't have false teeth.That policeman's going to check up on you pretty thoroughly.Doesn't that worry you a bit.Of course they are .He's got your name and adress written downmost crefully in his black book.What's memory got to do with it.It's written down i his book isn't it.You're a genius!You're brilliant!You're a fantastic fellow!
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