What on earth was that noise? I live in a relatively peaceful neighborhood, so I have no idea.
Sorry, sir, but we'll have to confiscate this house to use as General Beauregard's office, with property damage as evidence.
Wha- How did a cannonball get into my house‽
April, 1865 - Appomatox Courthouse, Virginia
Things are going better for me now! I got a new house away from the war, and I heard that the war is coming to a close! Though, people still knock on my door, like now, for instance. Probably one of my neighbors with a hankering for a cup of sugar...
Oh, come on, now!
Excellent! I'll go grab the furniture for souvenirs and historical purposes! It will look so great in the museum!
Gentlemen, this war has ended! We'll have to sign the peace treaty in this house near where we were fighting!