OMG, Africa sucks. I can't even get my favorite shampoo.
Ugh! I have to cook because my mom and baby sister are dying. Life is so hard for me.
Eeben Axelroot is so creepy but maybe charming too?
How to Survive 101 Calamities: Always save yourself i.e. marry Axelroot
Gotta get the perfect normal life. Marry your way there.
Then me, if I don't die first
No need for husbands when I have this amazing hotel that I built entirely on my own! Remember, whites only!
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