(Narrator does voiceover) "Pip E. Longstocking was born in 1972 and grew up in the small town of Rutabaga, Kansas, where she quickly rose to the ranks from Student Body President at Rutabaga High School to being the city's mayor, after graduation."
(Shots of "Rutabaga University," through the hallways and classrooms)
"Wanting to continue her education, Longstocking resigned from her position as mayor and went on to study at the prestegious Turnip University, where she triple-majored in Political Science, Law, and Fine Arts."
(Shot of her talking with someone in front of capital building)
"With her triple-major, no one could resist voting her into the House of Representatives, where she has been a Democrat representing Rutabaga County for 11 years."
(Shot of the arctic. Maybe hire some penguin extras...)
"With average temperature rising about 1.6 degrees fahrenheit since the 19th century, increased ocean acidification, and increased levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, Pip E. Longstocking will work hard to preserve the environment in the midst of climate change by working with other concerned nations."
(Shots of a classroom with kids hard at work)
"As your president, Longstocking will bring the focus back to education and work to provide free college tuition for all, which would improve graduation rates, reduce student loans, and improve the economy overall."
"Trust me, it's gonna be good." LONGSTOCKING FOR PRESIDENT 2020
"I'm Pip E. Longstocking and I approve this message"
"Longstocking is supported by former president Barack Obama, Planned Parenthood, the Democratic Socialists of America, and Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream. She is a life long server of the people, with over 20 years of political experience, a caring mother to 12 cats and 1 turtle, and most importantly, a lover not a fighter."