Hi i'm Stanley Yelnats. I was sent to Camp Green Lake for "stealing" a pair of Clyde Livingstone's famous shoes...
...there is no lake at Camp Green Lake, just endless Desert and Yellow Spotted Lizards.
This is Mr Pendanski and Mr Sir, you'll see them around alot.
I met this kid called Hector 'Zero' Zeroni. He digs half my hole for English lessons . Mr Pendanski says Zero isn't smart but i know otherwise.
...Elya went to Madame Zeroni, the local witch, and asked for advice. She told him to carry the smallest pig in the resent litter up a hill every day for a couple of weeks until its fat enough. And on the last day Elya had to carry Madame Zeroni up the hill. If he'd failed to do so, his family would be cursed.
This all started in Latvia. My Great Great Great Grandfather Elya Yelnats fell in love with a young girl. Elya asked her dad if he could marry the girl. The dad said he had to compete with another older man with a pig...
On the last day Elya presented the pig to his crushes dad and it weighed the same as his competition's pig. Elya was distraught about all of this and ran to a boat destined to America. He forgot his promise to Madame Zeroni.