I had a new car.It was an exciting toy, a big BMW 3.3 Li, which means 3.3 litre, long wheelbase, fuel injection. It had a top speed of 129 mph and terrific acceleration.
Yes, Jump in then.
Going to London, guv'nor?
I'm going to Epsom, for the races. It's Derby Day today. I never bet on horses. I don't even watch 'em run. That's a stupid silly business. That's even sillier. There's no fun working them lousy machines and selling tickets to mugs.
Which part of London are you headed for? So it is. I wish I were going with you. I love betting on horses.Then why do you go? I expect you help to work the betting machines or something like that
No hurry, officer. No, officer. My house isn't on fire, office. Seventy.
What's the hurry? Perhaps there's a woman in the back having a baby and you're rushing her to hospital? Is that it? Or perhaps your house in on fire and you're dashing home to rescue the family upstairs? In that case. You got yourself into a nasty mess haven't you? Do you know what the speed limit is in this country?(Gives fine and a penalty)
(Lying to police officer)
Why did you lie to him? The cigarette was done in 5 seconds! I've never seen anyone roll a cigarette as fast as that. Of course I noticed. It was quite fantastic. Go on then.( He keeps talking on with the hitchhiker)
What makes you think I lied? (Taking a tin of tobacco and a packet of cigarette papers and started to roll the cigarette)Ah, So you noticed. You want to know what makes me able to do it ?It's because I've got fantastic fingers. These fingers of mine.(showing his hands and also keep talking to him.)
What's memory got to do with it? It's written down in his book, isn't it? You're a genius! You're brilliant! You're a fantastic fellow!
Then we'd better build a little bonfire and burn these books. Thank you, guv'nor. It's always nice to be appreciated
Yes, guv'nor, it is. But the trouble is, 'ee's lost the book. 'Ee's lost both books, the one with my name on it and the one with yours. Easiest job I ever done. That copper's got nothin' on either of us now. 'Ee'sgot no names, no addresses, no car number, no nothin'. I think you'd better pull off this main road as soon as possible.