If either of you knows of any secret reason why you should not be married, then I command you, by your souls, to say it now.
Friar Francis
Hero
None, my lord.
Leonato
I'll dare to answer for him—none.
Beatrice
Wouldn't you swear, all of you who see her now, that she's a virgin, based on her exterior? But she is no virgin. She has known the heat of a lustful bed. Her blush is from guilt, not modesty.
Sir, they are spoken, and they are true.
What should I say? I stand here dishonored. I've arranged to join my dear friend to a common prostitute.
He says they're true! Oh God!
[To DON PEDRO] Sweet Prince, why don't you say something?
Let me just ask your daughter one question. By your natural authority over her as her father, tell her to answer truthfully.
Isn't my name Hero? Who can stain that name with any honest accusation?
[To HERO] As you are my child, I order you to do so.
Well, Hero can do that! The word "Hero" itself—which I heard spoken last night—can stain Hero's virtue. What man talked with you last night at your window, between midnight and one? Now, if you are a virgin, answer this.
Shame, shame! Those sins are not to be named, my lord—not to be spoken of!
[To LEONATO] I'm sorry you must hear this, Leonato. I swear on my honor that I, my brother, and this wronged count saw and heard Hero last night, talking to some brute at her bedroom window. And that man, the lustful villain, confessed to a thousand secret, immoral encounters that they've had.
I didn't talk to any man at that hour, my lord.
Come on, let's go. These secrets being brought to light have overwhelmed her spirit.
Does any man here have a dagger for me to stab myself?
Why, how are you doing, cousin? Why are you collapsing now?
How is the lady?
Dead, I think.
Oh, Fate, don't spare your heavy hand of punishment! The best thing I could wish for to cover up her shame is death.
[To HERO] Take comfort, lady.
How are you, cousin Hero?
[To HERO] Do you dare to look up?
Sir, sir, calm down. For my part, I'm so filled with amazement that I don't know what to say.
[To HERO] Do not live, Hero. Do not open your eyes. If I didn't think that you were about to die—if I thought that your spirits were stronger than your shame—then I would condemn you and kill you myself.
Oh, I swear on my soul, my cousin has been slandered!
Lady, did you sleep in her room last night?
I've noticed a thousand blushes start to rush on her face, and then a thousand feelings of innocent shame—as white as angels—drive those blushes away.
No, truly I didn't. But until last night I've slept there every night for the last year.
Then it's confirmed, confirmed! Oh, that has added even more evidence to what is already a strong case against her! Would the two princes lie? And would Claudio—who loved her so much that speaking of her foulness made him weep—lie too? Leave her. Let her die.
Don't trust my age, my respected position, my calling as a priest, or my holiness, if in fact this sweet lady here isn't innocent, and the victim of some cruel mistake.Lady, what man is it you're accused of meeting with?
Ask the ones who accuse me. I don't know. If I've been with any man alive in a way that's inappropriate for a proper, modest virgin, then let all my sins be punished!
Two of them have perfectly honorable dispositions. And if they've been misled in this affair, the culprit must be John the Bastard, whose nature makes him plot wickedness.
The princes have had some strange misunderstanding.
I don't know. If they're telling the truth about Hero, then I'll tear her apart with my own hands. But if they have slandered her honor falsely, then even the greatest of them will hear from me.
The princes have left your daughter for dead here. Let her be hidden secretly in your house for a while, and make it publicly known that she is, indeed, dead. Keep up a show of mourning, hang sad epitaphs at your family's old tomb, and perform all the usual burial rites.
What will result from this? What will this accomplish?
Sir Leonato, listen to the friar's advice. And although you know that I'm close friends with the Prince and Claudio, I swear by my honor that I'll deal with this business secretly and honorably.
Well, if we can carry this out correctly, it will move Hero's accusers from slander to feelings of remorse.We must maintain that she died the instant she was accused.For that's how it is: we don't value the things we have until we lose them.That's how it will be with Claudio. When he hears that Hero died because of his words, thoughts of her will creep into his imagination.If my prediction is right, then everything will turn out even better than I can describe it. But even if everything else fails, at least Hero's supposed death will overshadow the shameful rumors about her. And if it doesn't turn out well, you can hide her away as a nun or a religious recluse—this will be the best place for someone with her wounded reputation.
I am carried away by a river of grief, so I will cling to the smallest piece of string offered to me.
It's a good agreement. Let's go immediately. Strange diseases require strange cures.[To HERO] Come, lady, you will die so that you might live. This wedding may only be postponed. Have patience and endure.
Lady Beatrice, have you been weeping this whole time?
Yes, and I will weep for a while longer.
There's nothing in the world I love as much as you. Isn't that strange?
As strange as my own confusion. It would also be possible for me to say that there's nothing I love as much as you. But don't believe me when I say it—and yet I'm not lying. I confess nothing, and I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin.
I'll swear by my sword that you love me, and if any man says I don't love you, I'll make him eat my sword.
But you won't eat your words?
Not with any sauce that could be invented for them. I declare that I love you.
Why, then, God forgive me.
Forgive you for what offense, sweet Beatrice?
You've stopped me at just the right moment. I was about to declare that I loved you too.
Then declare it with all your heart.
I love you with so much of my heart that none of it is left to object.
Come, ask me to do anything for you.
Kill Claudio.
Do you really think in your soul that Count Claudio has wronged Hero?
Yes, as sure as I have a mind or a soul.
That's enough for me—I am bound by my pledge of love. I will challenge him. I'll kiss your hand, and so I leave you. I swear by this hand, Claudio will pay dearly for what he's done. Listen for news of me, and keep me in your thoughts. Go comfort your cousin. I'll go tell them that she is dead. Farewell.
Is our whole dissembly here now?
Dogberry
But which ones are the criminals to be examined? Let them come before the Master Constable.
Verges
Oh, but we need a stool and a cushion for the sexton.
Sexton
Yes, well, bring them before me. What is your name, friend?
Borachio
I am a gentleman, sir. And my name is Conrad.
[To the SEXTON] Please, write down "Borachio."[To CONRAD] And yours, sir
[To the SEXTON] Write down "Master Gentleman Conrad."[To CONRAD and BORACHIO] Sirs, it has already been proven that you're no better than lying villains—and soon we'll suspect you of it too. What do you have to say for yourselves?
Indeed, sir, that we aren't villains.
[To BORACHIO] Come here, sir, and I'll whisper a word in your ear. Sir, I say that you are both suspected of being lying villains.[To the SEXTON] By God, they've both agreed to the same lie. Have you written that down, that they aren't lying villains?
And I say that we are not, sir.
[To the SEXTON] By God, they've both agreed to the same lie. Have you written that down, that they aren't lying villains?[To the WATCHMEN] Let the watchmen step forward. Sirs, I order you in the Prince's name to accuse these men.
Master Constable, this isn't the right way to conduct an examination. First you must call forth the watchmen who accused them.
Write down that Prince John was a villain. Why, thats flat-out perjury, to call a prince's brother a villain.
Sir, this man said that Don John, the Prince's brother, was a villain.
[To BORACHIO] Oh, you villain! You'll be condemned to everlasting redemption for this!
And that Count Claudio—based on Don John's accusation—was going to disgrace Hero before the whole wedding assembly, and refuse
Well, that he had received a thousand gold pieces from Don John for wrongfully accusing the Lady Hero.
[To the WATCHMEN] What else did you hear him say?
[To CONRAD] No, you villain, you are full of piety, as witnesses will prove. I'm a wise fellow and—what's more—an officer and—what's more—a homeowner and—what's more—as fine a mortal man as any in Messina.
[To the WATCHMEN] Take him away!Oh, if only it had been written down that I'm an ass!
Get away from me! You are an ass, you are an ass!
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