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The grief disease

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The grief disease

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  • Hello everyone! My name is Carolina and today I will invite you to go through my journey dealing with cancer in my family.
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  • This is so sad! I cannot stand it!!!
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  • My first ever contact with cancer was by seeing my sister crying so much over any sad movie about a disease that I barely understood back then, Cancer.
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  • Don't worry about me my darling. I am not scared of death but I am also going to fight against this monster
  • It was just on 2020 that I would be forced to face the harsh monster, cancer. My maternal grandfather, Ernani, the hearth of my family, was diagnosed with advanced stage prostate cancer.
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  • At the beginning we were so confident that he would defeat cancer, but we were all stabbed on our backs when the doctors informed us of how the treatment was going.
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  • Than I realized that cancer was not just a biological disease, it was like a virus that infected my entire family with endless sadness
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  • Seeing him slowly die, was the most painful thing in my life. I felt like each day slowly he was loosing the life inside of him, like his colors were fading
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  • Until there was nothing left, he was gone, and all the color in my world was also gone
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  • But then I realized that if my world had no colors anymore, my mom's world did not even existed anymore. I lost my grandfather, by she lost her father.
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  • Then I had to watch cancer, almost take my mom's life as well. She did not have cancer, but the way cancer took her father life made her want to leave this world for ever
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  • Leave us alone!
  • The darkness took over our lives. The grief and pain was endless. I could not see a way out of it
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  • I just want to be able to have a normal life again! But I can't I am so weak. I can't even leave my room
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  • I am so worried about your mom, this grief is going to kill her. She does not leave her room for weeks!
  • I know, maybe we should do something to change the dynamic of the house, so she does not feel drained by her grief anymore
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  • What can we do to make you feel better? You need to go back to your life, we need to overcome this together
  • I don't know just let me go, so I can be with my father
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  • In the following week we almost lost my mom. Cancer had already taken my grandfather and now was trying to take her also
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  • We need to start a treatment Erika. You almost lost your life. We will make you feel healthy again
  • But this time... the master was not strong enough to also take her
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  • But how? I am not diagnosed with cancer. How are we going to treat myself
  • Cancer is not causing the biological disease on you. But your father's cancer and loss are the direct cause of your PTSD
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  • PTSD? What does that mean?
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  • How do we treat that?
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  • We will start from there and slowly see how you react!
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  • For the following months, therapy became part of my mother's routine, and she finally started to cross the grief bridge
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  • Little by little, we started to go out of the house again and laugh like we used to do
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  • The next important step was the adoption of a dog to give emotional support to my mom
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  • And suddenly my house was not a dark place anymore, and my mom finally was in peace with her father's fate
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  • Nowadays my mother was able to not just be in peace with my grandfather death but she also found colors in her life again! During her free times she is a volunteer in the oncology clinic to help other family members of patients to deal with the emotional aspect of cancer.
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  • Why is she crying like a crazy person?
  • I am so sorry to inform the family that Ernani is not responding well to the chemotherapy
  • PTSD stands for post traumatic stress disorder, a mental health condition triggered by a traumatic experience, the loss of your father to cancer
  • We will need you to start seeing a therapist every week, someone you can tell anything to release your pain.
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