HATEI gues you might be hating me nowWhat I thought as a promissing possibility regardless of the difficutlies, ended up in a matter that makes me feel hated. Terrible ending that wish have never occurred in my life. It never had.I can only hope that you are capable to neutralize the bad memories and bad feelings. I will forget and move on. I try not to revisit the past. It still early and it has not been easy to know that I hurt your feelings and made you feel bad, when I could have just expressed that in a note or in a calmed conversation. I don't know how to do that. I rather ignore because there is no point in trying to see others the world from my viewpoint.
FEARNow that I had the impulse to feel protected by a third party so things wouldn't escalate, BIG MISTAKE I REGRET but at the end without consequence. Just REST ASSURE I did not signed a record of that. I'm afraid of your reactions. You knew that. But I didn't pursue any accusation neither I put a restriciton order. So dont' fear that. I would have done it if you would have attacked me at your mother's house or at my own place. From yelling insults and hurtful words to a physical attack the line can easily be crossed. You are a man stronger than me, I wouldn't have been able to defend myself from you.
CLEAN UP THE SOUL PAINI dont see a reason to let time pass when a simple action can help solve a problem. I've been trying to clean my heart and mind. I was able to overcome the humiliation and fear you put me through at your mom's house so I was hoping you would also have the courage to do so this time.I assume you are having nasty feelings towards me and I dion't want that from anyone. I didn't create them for you that time, though I was vulnerable to be attached in the middle of the night. But I guess that never crossed your mind.
I've known Sharon for 13 years. Stayed at her home many times. Not even once i have gone into her office or into her closet items. Those places have personal information that I will not trasspass.I have housesat 3 times, for friends/bf. I didn't even think about crossing the hallway to their office or bedroom. I collected the mail, put trash out and took care of pets. Never crossed my mind to do more than thatOnce you jockingly said, everything at the right time about introducing friends. More importantly is when dealing with personal information. I wasn't sure of you. I was always falling back bc some of your behaviour and attitudes and the only thing that kept me going was what I felt for you. I couldn't trust you bc you kept giving reasons for that.I did read your cell and emails bc that is the only way to know if someone is telling truths. Because lying and deception is part of our DN, but It's been decades since I learned that beeing truthful and loyal in relationships is the way to not hurt other's emotions... it is serious matter. That's why I don't do it. The guys I've been since Im a mom, can testify on that. I'm as loyal as a dog... not any dog.. my loyalty is Saffies' grade... I don't go on walks with anyone. Only with that Special One !
I was welcoming, friendly and loving with you. I didn't blurt out bad words and demeaning labels even when you irritated me. Twice I took the crap and let you stay at my place calmly. When I read Donna's texts at your mom's and when I saw your were interacting with your beloved Norma at my home recnetly; in the mean while my mind and heart were just for you. Still I let you stayed at my place those 2 nights and I didn't loose my calm, though I was feeling betrayed and used.I regret loosing my calm this last time. Because; involving third parties is something I've always avoided in any aspect of my life. I rather deal directly with the people or the matters.
I never took you for granted. I was thankful of when you invited me to Terlingua, of all the trips you made to stay with me. Of your help with the grass and I insisted you didn't clean the car. I didn't want you to do things for me. I wanted you to take care of your health only.I made my self look a bit pretty somehow all the time you came. I wanted to focus on the positive, make plans, move forward with ideas for the future. HAve a partner in life. But your mind was too occupied for that. I understand the confussion of the Lyme but the Social Confusion I could have never understand
Oltre 40 milioni di storyboard creati
Nessun Download, Nessuna Carta di Credito e Nessun Accesso Necessario per Provare!