The fairytale of Jack and the Beanstalk, told from the Giant's point of view.By Samuel Haxton
The Giant and the Robber
neigh
FEE FI FO FUM ! I am so hungry, I could eat a hundred horses.
Good morning, wife! Can you fry these horses?
I found a hole in the garden last night. It had the top of a beanstalk coming out. Do you know what it is?
Yes.
That's strange. I have no idea.
'Sniff'FEE FI FO FUM, I smell the blood of an Englishman! Be he alive or be he dead, I'llgrind his bones to make my bread!
Nonsense, my dear, go wash your hands and I'll make your breakfast. You're just cranky because you haven't had your coffee.
I'm sure I smell a human. Maybe it was just some bad milk.
I was remembering my great-grandfather, Williams...
Nevermind.We have a trip to space to plan.
frown...
I'll count after breakfast. It will cost a lot to organise.
I'm thinking of going to Venus. The Giants would like a closer look at the sun. How much gold do we have?
One, two, three....
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Wife, where's my gold?!! IT'S GONE!!!!!
Later in the day.....The Giant stomps back into the kitchen.
'Sniff'.....FEE FI FO FUM, I smell the blood of an Englishman! Be he alive or be he dead, I'llgrind his bones to make my bread!
Again? Nonsense, do wash and I'll make your lunch.
When I was a boy, Williams told me a story about his cattle farm. One day, some humans came up from the land under the clouds and robbed him of six of his best cows.He called them Englishmen, and warned me never to go below the clouds because they would hunt Giants.
Why are you telling me this?
Because I keep smelling human, and someone stole our gold coins.
I don't think there is a human in our house.
Well, I should probably make the hen lay golden eggs. We can still organise the trip to Venus.
Lay!Lay again!
Zzzzzzzzz.....
Where is my hen?!What is going on?!
A week later...
I love this harp, it's my favourite instrument.