Why am I always sad? Why don't I have the urge to do any of my favorite hobbies? Why do I not sleep? Why do I never have any energy? And why am I such a failure? I could just jump into traffic right now
Major Depressive Disorder
OMG look, the sky is blue, there's a pretty bird in the sky, I have 10 fingers, and I am the happiest person alive!!!
Weren't you just crying about accidentally killing an ant earlier today?
Bipolar Disorder
Dad, do you see that Wizard over there, also I'm pretty sure he is plotting my demise.
Paranoid Schizophrenia
No son, I do not.
Man I stink! Today I am no wear shirt when go school.
Disorganized Schizophrenia
JOEY, QUIT COPYING ME!!
JOEY, QUIT COPYING ME!!
Catatonic Schizophrenia
There's a dragon flying around, also I have not showered in 4 weeks and very high energy I am.