1. Hey, You underclassman, did you hear about how I got my driver’s license today?
3. Of course you do! Everyone in the entire country practically knows. If you didn’t know you would be mad weird no cap, all fax no printer, on god. I only totaled my car one time since I got it yesterday so i'm not THAT bad, can I take you for a ride to show you my mad, swagalicious driving skills?
Parody + Hyperbole
4. Actually, I'd rather not hang out with an incredibly good driver that crashes every 2 seconds.
Sarcasm
6. It’s not that bad living normally, unlike your life which clearly seems like it's far more superior than the rest of ours.
5. Come on, can you even live without being able to drive?
Play/Wit
8. I’m only four months younger than you...I have to get to class, goodbye.
7. If I were a young child like you without the divine? privilege to drive, it would quite literally drive me to insanity and cause me to live a miserable, sorrowful life
Situational Irony
9. Kids these days, wasting away life in useless classes… his loss. They will never know the blissful joys of getting a license.