My journey
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- Moved from Pakistan to Canada (1999)
- Graduated with an undergrad in Electrical Engineering (2008)
- 1. 1.5 year internship at Honeywell Aerospace working on secondary electrical power distribution system of Airbus A3802. Worked 20+ hours/week part-time throughout undergrad
- 6.5 years at Toronto Hydro (2008 - 2015)
- 1. Started as an Engineer in Training and left as a Business Development Specialist reporting directly to an EVP 2. Worked in four different departments including engineering, asset management, operations and business development 3. Recruited to join the Smart Grid team when it was formed 4. Lead the utility aspect of a Community Energy Storage project as the youngest lead within the consortium. The project involved developing and installing a first of its kind battery system in North America5. Recruited by EVP as first employee to join the newly formed Business Development department --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------6. Completed a Masters in Power Engineering part-time 7. Completed MBA part-time Lead a team to win a $100k national case competitionCofounded Attollo - a social enterprise in Early Childhood Education
- 2+ years running Attollo Social Enterprise (2014 - 2016)
- 1. Cofounded Attollo - a social enterprise in Early Childhood Education - during the MBA. Left Toronto Hydro, to pursue this full-time2. Ran Attollo as a COO, and the only full-time cofounder Raised fundsWorked on product development and design, and got prototype at a stage where it was ready for production Lead pilot projects in Kenya and TanzaniaRunner-up for the $1M Hult Prize, sponsored by the Clinton Global Initiative Endorsed by UNICEFBrought the opportunity, to partner with a multi-national toy manufacturer, to the table --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------2. Completed the Action Canada Fellowship. The Action Canada Fellowship is a 10-month public policy leadership program that aims to enhance young leaders’ understanding of the country and public policy choices for the future. In a team of 6, published a report "Barriers to Belonging - Paving a Smoother Path to Immigrant Inclusion".
- 9 months freelancing (2017)
- 1. Supported startups with engineering and business development aspects of clean technology solutions-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------2. Recruited by Natural Resources Canada (NRCan) to participate in the Generation Energy Council. The mandate of the 14-member council was to advise the federal government, Minister Jim Carr, on how Canada can transition to a reliable, affordable, low-carbon economy in the future. The current chair of MaRS' Board, was also a member of this council.
- Women in Renewable Energy (WiRE; 2013 - Present)
- 1. Joined the WiRE non-profit at its inception as a working advisory committee member, and currently serving as Vice President and Board Member of WiRE. WiRE is led and run by volunteers2. As part of the core WiRE team, contributed to:Grow WiRE from a monthly meet-up in Toronto, to 14 chapters across Canada and in the MENA regionExpand WiRE's programming, which now includes networking events, capacity building field trips, speed mentoring, speed interviewing, student bursaries and industry awards 3. As part of the Board of Director team, current focus areas include:Business development to make the organization more sustainableManaging a team of 20+ volunteers (advisory committee members, chapter leads, project-based volunteers)
- 3 years and 4 months at MaRS (October 2017 - Present; includes 7 months personal leave)
- 1. Started and currently working as a Senior Manager in the Partner Solutions teamAccepted the position with a 30% compensation cut, because I was excited to work with a team of amazing people, to make an outsized, positive impact in the realm of adoption of cleantech solutions, both in Canada and internationallyWas promised growth in responsibilities and compensation when I started2. Scope of responsibilities has expanded (in the past few months):Supporting Mission from MaRS business development (Jan 2021)Will be leading the MaRS Energy Board starting Q1FY22Informally leading a team - Cleantech Partner Solutions - responsible for leading delivery of all cleantech projects. Currently the team includes 1 direct report and is incubating within the Innovation Challenges team; discussion of plans to increase team size and formally organize the team
- My MaRS Journey
- Key team members (all with close personal ties outside of work)
- Director - I report to him
- Teammate - I rely on her for critical project information and knowledge sharing
- Managing Director - my Director reports to him
- Congrats Aisha - here is your new phone!
- Thanks! I'm so excited. It is a new version ... [cut-offf]
- Wow. What's going on here? Why is she upset that I got the phone before her? Sounds quite abrupt. OK well - everyone has laughed this off! Maybe this isn't a big deal.
- I'm so mad! I can't believe Aisha got her phone before me!
- Hi! My name is Aisha ... [go on to introduce myself]
- She is smiling, but the tone is off. What is this supposed to mean? Am I overthinking this? Some MaRSians genuinely feel warm, and some are abrupt. Apparently everyone seems so nice. This is just my first week. I need to give us all some time.
- Yes! I've heard about you. I met your former boss on the way home. On the subway, from MaRS to St.George, he kept on talking about you. I told him, nobody can be that good.
- My first assignment - I'm leading delivery of a key project, which is the highest revenue generating project the team has gotten to date. We are off to Chile to deliver a workshop. Everyone is jazzed and excited (December 2017)
- It was a lot of hard work leading up to this workshop. Excited and looking forward to my first workshop delivery. Also, what a great opportunity to bond!!
- Dinner at a fancy place, post workshop, to celebrate and debrief
- I am feeling very left out. The conversation is shifting back-and-forth from workshop to inside jokes. Why aren't they sharing context so I can join in? I want. to share my perspectives on the workshop, but it is so hard to jump in. Is it because I don't drink? But I've been in similar settings before, and have been able to share my perspectives and feel included.This was supposed to feel good. I'm feeling stressed and sad, because I don't feel included and also because I'm worried they all must think I have nothing to say.
- My Managing Director hosts a halal, Christmas dinner for the entire team at his home (December 2017)
- Wow! My Managing Director planned the entire meal around MY dietary restrictions!! The whole meal was halal. He asked me details leading up to the dinner and went very much out of his way, to make me feel welcomed. I am SO lucky to be part of this team. I am so touched. No one has ever done that for me before.I don't know what I was thinking. I must be overthinking some of the incidents that have happened so far. I am feeling included and hopeful that things will be smooth sailing here onwards!
- My Managing Director announces via email that I'll be taking on more responsibility (February 2018)
- I feel a solid connection and rapport with my Director. He has communicated my progress to the Managing Director. The org change is announced via email - expectation is that it will be formally take place over the next few weeks. Details aren't clear, but I'm expecting a change in title along with increased compensation. I'm thrilled! Things still feel off from time to time, but I am relaxed as my Director has my back. I feel I'm making progress and earning team's trust.
- Aisha will lead our Energy Systems Practice!!
- My Director announces that he is leaving MaRS at the end of June 2018 (May 2018)
- There is a leadership void after my Director's departure. I'm feeling that high-profile projects and opportunities are being allocated arbitrarily. I feel that I'm being left out of meetings and wondering why I'm not part of some these discussions. I feel that my Managing Director has a clear favourite on the team. I'm trying my best to communicate with my Managing Director - but things are not clicking. I feel that my Managing Director is receiving information from his 'go-to' person about me, and that information is not positive. However, I have no concrete proof. I'm wondering if I'm overreacting to the current situation?No formal changes have been made to the org structure as things have been shifting.
- A new project kicks-off (September 2018)
- I have been asked to lead delivery for a new project. I have not been looped into the proposal for the project and I don't know why. My colleague was looped into the business development conversations. I rely on her to share information. However, I'm feeling that my colleague is withholding information from me about the context. This is a new offering for me. I haven't done this before, however my colleague has. I'm feeling that she is not being candid and collaborating in a genuine way. There are many incidents of communication gaps - being forwarded emails after the fact, no shows for meetings, always too busy to meet. I am trying my best to stay professional and objective. Still unsure whether it is real or in my head, because each incident has a clear excuse when I bring it up with my colleague. However, I'm feeling that things are not in sync.
- I'm on a pre-planned vacation for three weeks. Spending half of it to open a new WiRE chapter in Turkey. Spending other half to visit my mom in Pakistan (October 2018)
- I'm excited to be opening WiRE's first international chapter along with my colleague and the Canadian Consulate in Turkey.I'm worried about my new project at MaRS, as my colleague is acting on my behalf, while I'm away. I'm worried about information being withheld upon my return. I'm worried that it will be difficult for me to pick it up again.I'm visiting Pakistan for the first time since I came to Canada - it's been 19 years. I'm going to support my mom with some urgent medical appointments. I'm feeling anxious.
- I return from vacation and resume with the project
- I'm back and trying to catch-up on the work that has been done. Information gaps continue. However, I don't have any solid proof except for a number of small incidents. I trust my colleague will be professional as she is a high performer as well. We work together to plan the workshop.I'm not feeling 100% on the personal front - mainly because the trip to Pakistan was quite heavy. I seek out professional help to work this through.
- Meeting to review workshop plan with my Managing Director (November 2018)
- I am feeling horrified as I've never experienced a situation where my manager is upset at me and is questioning the quality of my work.I am shocked and disappointed at the dishonest and manipulative behavior of my colleague. I feel she has actively contributed to create this situation. I am puzzled why she is pretending that she was not consulted when we've been working together for the last few weeks!
- I try to explain the situation, as I'm receiving new information about the project during the meeting. The meeting is very short and the Managing Director is upset. There is no opportunity to explain that the information was being withheld from my colleague. No opportunity to explain that I have been consulting my colleague. I'm being talked over and cut-off.
- I agree, this makes no sense. Here are all the ways to fix this ... Don't worry, I can help Aisha fix this.
- Aisha - what is going on?!? This workshop plan makes no sense! The client asked for ...
- Debrief immediately following the review meeting
- I am feeling very shocked at the whole incident. I try to clarify, but do not candidly confront the situation. I'm feeling intimidated by this level of manipulation and dishonesty. I am very shocked at the way my colleague is speaking to me, during this debrief.The workshop proceeds, with now my colleague leading the facilitation instead of me, as there is not enough time for me to prepare for it. Since my colleague has delivered a similar offering before, in the interest of producing the best outcome for the client, it makes sense to let her lead facilitation. My Managing Director now thinks that, I do not have the confidence to lead. He now thinks my quality of work is not adequate.I am very aware of the close relationship that extends beyond the office, between my colleague and my Managing Director. I do not clarify the situation with him, because it will be my word against her. I don't think he will believe me.
- If you are a Senior Manager and you don't perform, you fall flat on your face!
- Quiet promotion (November 2018)
- Shortly after the workshop, I along with other colleagues notice a change in email signature of my colleague. She has been promoted from Manager to Senior Manager. There is no formal announcement. I'm wondering what happened to my expected promotion that was announced via email in February 2018? However, due to the recent experience with the workshop, I don't feel it is a good time to bring it up. I let it go.I feel I'm being treated unfairly and don't have the courage to debrief on the workshop situation with my Managing Director, because I don't think I will be believed. I have also not documented all the facts, so I don't have proof to back up my story. But I know. And I know my colleague knows exactly what she has done.
- My Managing Director and I head back to Chile (December 2018)
- I'm hopeful this will give us a chance to reconnect and establish a trusted relationship.
- Dinner conversation
- Even though we've had a great trip and conversation, I'm still unsure whether I can bring up the situation with the last project. I still don't think my word will hold up against my colleague's, due to the personal relationship she has with my boss.I think I'm going to outperform on upcoming projects and the results will speak.
- I share that I'm not feeling 100% on a personal front.
- Aisha - it seems like you haven't been yourself lately. What is going on?
- Promotions and new boss (January 2019)
- I'm confused as I'm still thinking about the announcement in Feb 2018. I'm feeling disappointed, because my Managing Director did not even speak to me about this situation. Why was I not promoted?I'm feeling the experience on that project has resulted in me being passed over for the promotion. I did not have anyone to advocate for me. I did not speak up for myself. I'm feeling that my Managing Director is hearing a false narrative about me, from my colleague, whom he trusts and believes.I'm feeling that I'm continuously being overlooked for opportunities. Example, folks that are invited to be part of the Leadership team meeting, by my Managing Director, is arbitrary. The Leadership team meeting consists of Directors, and my colleague who was recently promoted to Senior Manager, is also invited. I'm not invited, and given no reason as to why not.I continue to lose confidence and become even more quiet at MaRS, while working in high stress mode. I know that this is likely validating doubts that my Managing Director has about my leadership capabilities. However, I am unable to do my best work in this high-stress environment.
- Formally announces promotion of my colleague (that happened in Nov 2018) along with three other Senior Managers who have been promoted to Directors.A new hire is also announced to replace my former boss. I will now be reporting to this new hire.
- False narratives continue (Jan - Mar 2019)
- I'm feeling the new Managing Director is even less inclusive (in experience; verbally all the right words are being said) than my current VP. The way my VP has introduced and organized people, my colleague is involved in a lot of direct collaboration with my Managing Director. Her and a few other people, seem to now have a special relationship, and ear of my Managing Director.During this time, I've been trying to hire two for two positions that are supposed to report to me. My colleague has been helping me with the interviews. There are numerous miscommunications by her to my Managing Director. This time, although I try my best to clarify the situations right away, I am feeling that I am not being believed. I was told "you stifle people" by my new boss. This came as a shock, after being commended for leading teams so effectively in my pre-MaRS experience and continuing to do so at WiRE.
- Performance evaluation (March 2019)
- I'm very disappointed as I've always outperformed, even after people have taken credit for my work, in the past. This is the first time I'm being told my leadership capabilities need significant work. I'm being told that I need to be developed. However, I'm not being given any opportunity to do so. Even though I've delivered two successful projects (one being a net new offering to MaRS) since then, I feel my reputation has been tarnished.I'm not an extrovert but I've held my own in front of CEOs, C-suite investors, and presented to audiences of 1000+. Despite my past accomplishments, I am now very much doubting my own capabilities, wondering whether my personal challenges have impacted my performance at work. Knowing full well that yes, while there has been an impact, it is not the way it is being painted right now. I'm feeling that my colleague has the ear of my VP (who has been promoted from Managing Director) and my new boss (Managing Director). I'm feeling that there is politics at play behind the scenes.I'm wondering how is it that I'm still doing so well outside MaRS, and inside MaRS the narrative is completely different? Outside MaRS, over the last year, I've interviewed Minister Bains in a fireside chat; I've delivered the Generation Energy report, along with the team, to Minister Carr and participated in associated public events; and I, working in close collaboration with another colleague, have launched WiRE's first international chapter in Turkey. I'm wondering how have I gone from 'being responsible to lead the energy practice' in Feb 2018 to now being told that I'm not even doing my job at a 100% level?
- Your performance score for this year is 80%
- Reporting structures change again (May 2019)
- My VP is moving on from MaRS. My new Managing Director has made some organization changes. I'm now going to be reporting to another Director. The two new hires - Manager and Senior Associate - that I made in the last couple of months will now also be directly reporting to the Director instead of reporting to me. My colleague who is also a Senior Manager, continues to report to the Managing Director.Even though I'm feeling this is unfair, I'm relieved as I trust and respect my latest boss. I'm feeling that now finally, I can get away from all the politics and toxic environment.
- Hi! I'm looking forward to working with you.
- Small pay increase and personal leave (September - October 2019)
- I'm feeling that my Director is not biased and open to listening. I share some information about past experiences (but not too much) and start having the conversation about growth of responsibilities and compensation. He works with the HR team and I get a $5000 increase after two years at MaRS.At the same time my mom has had a medical emergency and I have to drop everything and go to Pakistan in September 2019.
- Personal leave (September 2019 - March 2020)
- I end up spending 7 months in Pakistan, supporting my mom through her health challenges. While there, I participate in an interview for an org study that MaRS is doing to evaluate the experience of MaRSians.During this time I also hear news of my colleague being promoted from Senior Manager to Director.I also hear news of my Managing Director's departure.
- New beginnings (April 2020)
- My Director is extremely supportive in helping me transition back to work. I also receive a very warm welcome from my EVP during a virtual town-hall. I'm feeling a different, positive vibe at work. I'm optimistic.
- Cleantech Partner Solutions (May 2020)
- In my conversations with the team over the past couple of months, I've identified a gap in ownership of delivery for cleantech projects. I have done some analysis, spoken to various stakeholders, and proposed a plan for a team (Cleantech Partner Solutions) to take ownership of these projects. I've validated that plan with my Director and EVP. They give the blessing to move forward with it. The plan is to incubate the team until it is ready to stand alone. As part of the scope, my EVP suggests transitioning ownership of the MaRS Energy Board from a colleague to myself. This is the same colleague with whom I've had challenges in the past, but I'm optimistic that with proper due diligence on my end, and clarity from my EVP, I can do this.
- Energy Board Transition (May 2020 - Jan 2021)
- I setup a meeting with my colleague to discuss how we can approach this transition. I'm told by her that no one has told her about this transition. I'm surprised to hear this as I've heard otherwise from my EVP. I communicate my challenges with my Director. In a subsequent meeting, a few weeks later, my colleague says that she has discussed the Energy Board work with my EVP. She tells me, "You are supposed to be the Secretariat while I'll continue to be the face". This is inconsistent with what I've heard and continue communication with my Director about the challenges I'm experiencing in these conversations.Finally, after a few more weeks, I hear agreement from my colleague that the transition will indeed take place, but it has to be over several months to ensure quality. I feel that quality is often used as a lever by my colleague to de-rail conversations and plans (in the past and for this project). In a positive team environment, project quality is ensured through proper setup and implementation of a project plan. Why are we not focusing on creating and implementing a plan, instead of arbitrarily stretching out the timeline? I feel that this argument is an excuse to stretch out the transition process. During this time I've created a transition deck including an OBIWAN to align on roles during and after the transition. We agree that I'll lead the Q4FY21 meeting scheduled for Jan 2021.During this time I continue to experience same challenges as before, regarding communication (being too busy, no shows, withholding information). Learning from past experiences, I'm now documenting most of my conversations, and keeping my Director updated with my challenges, in a very transparent and direct way.In December 2020, there is a new project that has come up for delivery. In communication with my EVP, we align that I'll lead the first board meeting in the new fiscal, i.e. Q1FY22, instead of Q4FY21 as per the original plan to manage my workload. I then communicate the updated timeline to my colleague in December 2020.
- Request to communicate transition internally (Jan 22 - 27, 2021)
- I request my EVP to send out an internal communication, to the internal team involved with the MaRS Energy Board work, to let them know that the formal transition will happen in Q1FY22. I've requested this communication as I am worried that in absence of clear communication, my colleague might circulate a different narrative resulting in me being kept out of the loop.My EVP sends out an internal email.
- False narrative, questioning the transition (Jan 28, 2021)
- I'm informed by my Director that he and my EVP have received an email from my colleague communicating that: I've been missing deadlines during the transition processThe quality of my work isn't adequateI've not stepped up to take the work off her hands during the transition periodShe has suggested in that email that I'm not ready for transition.While I'm upset and disappointed (again), I'm not surprised. I also take comfort in the fact that my Director is sharing this info with me transparently, and giving me a chance to respond. I respond back with documented evidence demonstrating that:I have in fact improved overall timelines The questions about quality are unjustified and a false narrative is being constructed using miscellaneous factsI've had to struggle just to get information, and there has been no opportunity to step up
- Clarification Meeting (Jan 28, 2021)
- My Director sets up a meeting for the same day as the email was received to clarify the situation directly. In that meeting it is my word against hers. I provide all the evidence that I've documented. At the the end of the meeting, the EVP decides that we will move forward with the transition in Q1FY22. However, I'm now wondering whether my EVP also thinks that my quality of work is not adequate?While I feel the decision is fair and am grateful for it, I'm pretty upset. My colleague has yet again created a false narrative about myself and circulated it. I've never had to justify myself in front of someone who is being dishonest and manipulating facts openly. Instead of my colleague being held accountable, I've had to justify myself.
- Miscommunication continues (Jan 28, 2021)
- My colleague and I have a meeting with the MaRS Energy Board chair later that evening. In that meeting, she miscommunicates (yet again, even after the meeting we've had with the EVP just hours ago) that the transition is happening in Q2FY22 instead of Q1FY22 as we had agreed upon. Since this is an external meeting, I cannot correct her on the spot. I am also exhausted and pretty upset by this time. I just don't understand - we had a meeting only a few hours ago with our EVP, in which he clearly communicated his decision. I am very disappointed by this behavior. I have no energy to pursue this any further that evening.
- Communication to the Board continues to be a struggle (Jan 29, 2021)
- The next day, I slack my colleague, to confirm the logistics of the transition. This communication is happening while we are all in the Board meeting. She informs me, that she will be making the announcement for Q2FY22. I slack her to clarify we agreed upon Q1. There is no response.I then proceed to create a common slack thread, including my Director and EVP, to clarify. The EVP confirms it is Q1 indeed.Even after the above slack exchange, in the personal thread, my colleague still insists the timeline is Q2. I ask her to look at the response by the EVP in the common thread. My colleague finally makes the announcement to the Board for a Q1FY22 transition.
- How am I feeling right now?
- 1. I am wondering why a simple transition has taken so long, and why has it been so stressful? With sincere collaboration, this could have been achieved in a shorter time frame, and with peace of mind. 2. I am wondering about the toll of this (and all the other past events) on MaRS' bottom line as well as culture. I could have used all this time and energy on other projects, but instead I've been stressed beyond measure, because of the behavior of a single colleague. 3. I'm feeling the excitement of taking on a new responsibility is overshadowed by the stressful and dishonest behaviors leading up to it. 4. I'm worried what my EVP thinks about the quality of my work? I'm worried if this will, yet again, have a negative impact on my career growth at MaRS?5. I'm feeling a lot of pressure to deliver, with no room for any slip-ups at all, as my colleague is waiting to find something and take it out of context.6. This last thing on my mind, which I very much want to believe is not true - why am I the only one experiencing this type of behavior from this colleague? Am I being targeted? If yes, why? At least, I have not heard anyone else mentioning such challenges with this colleague.
- Why am I raising this now?
- 1. Seriousness, frequency and duration of my challenges with this colleague:Seriousness: I feel the false narratives created by my colleague have adversely affected my career at MaRSFrequency: This behavior is now being replicated with a third executive in a row Duration: I've been experiencing numerous challenges (the above are highlights) with this colleague since I joined 2. I trust that my Director and EVP are listening and trying to be fair. The culture at MaRS is also changing with the Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) conversations. I'm feeling encouraged and optimistic to discuss and resolve this in a meaningful and effective way 3. I think the challenges with this colleague are going to continue to grow, and want to find a way to resolve this and put an end to this negative behavior4. I want to continue to produce my best work. To do so, I need to work in a collaborative environment, free from stress created through these types of negative behaviorsNote: this is my perspective on how I've experienced MaRS. In many cases I don't have documented evidence to back it up, but I also now recognize what I have experienced is not 'just in my head'. I also acknowledge that I have work to do on my end to learn how to resolve such conflicts in a timely and effective way.
- What does mean for the culture at MaRS?
- 1. I'm thinking if other MaRSians have also experienced similar challenges? If yes, how are they dealing with it?2. When a star employee, who is in the position of power, is engaging in bullying and toxic behavior, what is the best way for the person on the receiving end of it to deal with this challenge?3. How can we create accountability for individuals exhibiting this behavior?4. How do we prevent these situations from happening in the first place?----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------5. Suggestion: use this case study (in an anonymous and respectful way to ensure privacy for all individuals involved) as a test case and work with the DEI Task Force to come up with a solution
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