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- (1) Get a gander at that hunk- don't you think he's cute?
- (2) oh him? oh um yeah he's super cute...
- You don't seem so sure. You know what? You never talk about being interested in anyone... Why is that?
- I'm not completely sure of my feelings for him... I feel like maybe I should be attracted to him...
- (1) You know, I heard a rumour from Jenny that she thinks you're a lesbian. That's not true... Is it?
- (2) Oh uh... I um don't know. I think I might still have some level of attraction to men. I don't HATE them or anything but I'm not necessarily... Attracted to them
- I'm supposed to be attracted to men, right? it's biology, genetics, evolution right?
- Here we watch as two friends venture through the confusing world of Sexuality and Heteronormativity. The first woman to speak is a heterosexual Cisgender woman who is very comfortable with her sexuality. Her friend is, well, struggling with her thoughts and feelings surrounding sexuality. The second woman, who we can call Kay, is struggling with Compulsory Heterosexuality, or Comphet.
- (2) ... No, I can't say that I've had that experience
- (1) I don't know, I think every crush on a boy has been fabricated to fit in. Did you ever have to just pick a boy on the playground to have a crush on?
- Compulsory Heterosexuality is a concept that was popularized by Adrienne Rich in 1980. The main idea she explored was that women are believed to have an innate preference for relationships with men. This is an outdated and generally offensive idea which leads to lesbian erasure. However how we see the term in the 21st century has changed. Comphet now a days generally means that people believe the default state of themselves and others to be Heterosexual.
- (1) But don't you want to marry a man? Isn't that the best way to live? You don't get ridiculed by society if you live normaly.
- (2) I don't want to marry a many. The thought of it makes my skin crawl. The thought of it is claustrophobic.
- According to early Comphet theory, Homosexuality is a Societal Deviance. The consequence of Homosexuality in earlier history as well as in some places today is Formal Punishment. Though, thankfully, in Canada today the worst punishment for Homosexuality is Informal punishment.
- (2) It took me a long time to realize that I had feelings for some women in my life... I wasn't able to identify what the feelings meant. I thought it was friendship! I read the Lesbian masterdoc and so many pieces fell into place for me. I'm not fully comfortable with my sexuality yet, I'm not comfortable with labels yet.
- (1)Let me put it like this: I never felt comfortable being attracted to men but it felt like it should be second nature. I went along because I thought I was inherently wrong in my adversion
- A lot of Sapphic women relate to the annual "What boy am I going to have a crush on" scramble. The choice comes down to "can I endure this man?" not love him but endure. This is a sign of Comphet and it is extremely common. Young and closeted lesbians, and I'm generalizing here, want more than anything to fit into societal norms of womanhood.
- Comphet theory met criticism with the Gay liberation movement which stated that sexuality is far removed from gender politics. As written by Steven Seidman in "Critique of Compulsory Heterosexuality", Leaders in the gay liberation movement argued that Women were denied rights while lesbians were denied existence.Other critiques of this theory came from those who exist outside of the Gender Binary who believe that people are not shackled to Heteronormative Ideals.
- Comphet conditions women to identify with men which prioritize relationships with men over women. This manifests when a woman has a crush on another woman. Comphet translates to "Gee- I wish I could date her, she's so pretty..." etc. The "too bad I'm straight" mindset isn't even a red flag to someone because of the Heteronormative landscape they live in.
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