My RAFT
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- CoerciveActs Passed
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- People of the colonies, I think you all agree that the King has gone way too far with these new taxes!
- Parliament is taking away our money without even giving us a voice in the taxes we’re paying! Enough already! The Government has already been fighting to secure land that washed up boatloads of French colonists without even warning us they were coming, and now because they’re broke after the war, they’re taxing us?
- The Coercive Acts are actually what the Patriots called the Intolerable Acts; obviously that's not actually what the acts were called
- First they tax our sugar and molasses that we already have to buy from places in the Caribbean! (Good job trying to boycott that, by the way, pity it didn’t work.) Then all our paper suddenly has to have a stamp on it and we have to pay extra for stamps! Those tax collectors deserved what they got!
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- Then they recalled the Stamp Act and we thought we were getting somewhere. But NO! Of COURSE we now have to pay tax on the actual paper itself, as well as glass, tea, lead, and paint! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I’m glad we finally got them to recall most of them, but they KEPT THE TAX ON TEA??? Now they’ve given their East India Company exclusive rights to sell their tea here?! When we wouldn’t let them in to keep our tea merchants afloat, the Governor let them in anyway! They kind of forced our hand at the Boston Tea Party. I mean, really.
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- So all that was pretty awful. BUT NOW IT’S GONE TOO FAR! Britain has CLOSED the Boston port to ALL SHIPPING until we pay for all the destroyed tea AND the lost taxes! The damage cost £9,659 !! Where are we supposed to find all that money, may I ask? And now they care about their OLD ENEMIES the FRENCH more than us, apparently, because now OUR Ohio Valley is part of QUEBEC. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Now we’re not even allowed to use OUR OWN LAND and we CAN’T EXPAND WESTWARD EITHER?!! We’ve been loyal British citizens for a long time. We’ve tried to put up with all the crazy Royal Proclamations. But this is TOO MUCH! NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION!!! Who’s with me?!!!
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- DON'T IGNORE THIS BOX DOWN HERE! IT'S VERY IMPORTANT!... Oh. Oh, wait, no. Ignore this box down here.
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