Whilst on the run down the river with his faithful slave Jim, Huckleberry Finn comes across two men who declare themselves a duke and a king. They are also on the run, and are desperate for money. When they find out from the brother of a rich man called Peter Wilks that Peter has died, they seize on the opportunity and tell Peter's brother the wrong directions, and then taking on the names an identities of Peter's two brothers to get their hands on his money, taking Huck Finn into the whole corrupt business with them...
The King
Huck Finn
Three daughters of Peter W.
Mary Jane
Hare-Lip
Susan
Well, by and by, the king gets up and comes forward and works himself up and slobbers out a speech, all full of tears and flapdoodle.
Boo-hoo-hoo. Oh Peter!
And I missed seeing the diseased, after a journey of four thousand mile, but it is a trial that has sweetened and sanctified to us by this dear sympathy and these holy tears, and I thank you out of my and my brothers heart, Amen.
Oh, this ain't bully, nor noth'n... Dern him, I wonder what he done with the other four hundred and fifteen dollars?
1: We shut the cellar door behind us, and when they found the bag of money they split it out on the floor. My, the way the king's eyes did shine! He slaps the Duke on the shoulder and says:
2: Almost everyone would have been satisfied with the pile, but no. They worried over that a while, and ransacked all around for it.
Lets go upstairs and count this money, and then take it and give it to the girls. then they won't suspect us when it goes missing again!
Friends all, my poor brother that lays yonder has done generous by these poor little lambs that he loved and sheltered, and that he has left fatherless and motherless. We knew him, knew that he would have been more generous to them if he hadn't been afraid of hurting his dear William and me. Well then, what kind of brothers would we be to stand in the way at such a time. And what kind of uncles would we be if we were to rob - yes rob - such poor sweet lambs of these that he loved so. If I know William well - I'll just ask him about it... then... I knew it! Here you go, Mary Jane, Susan, Joanner. It's the gift of him who lays yonder.
You dear good souls! - how lovely!- how could you!
Why, how you talk - Sheffield ain't on the sea... Honest, haven't you been telling me a lot of lies?
Did you ever see the king?
When it was all done, me and Hare-lip had supper in the kitchen off the leavings, while the others were helping tidy up the things. She got me pumping about England, and blest if I didn't thing the ice was getting mighty thin. She says:
Who - William the fourth? You bet I have - he goes to our church...Yes, regular. His pew is right over the opposite ourn... Well he does. Where would he live... I mean he does go to our church regular when he is in Sheffield. That's only in the summer time, when he goes there to take the sea baths... I never said nothing of the kind... Honest - none of it at all. Not a lie in it.
Doesn't he live in London? I thought you lived in Sheffield.
I says to myself, this is a girl that I'm letting that ole reptile rob her of her money... says I to myself, this is another one that I am letting him rob her of her money... They all just laid themselves out to make me feel at home and know I was amongst friends. I felt so ornery and low down and mean that I says to myself, My mind is made up; I'll hive that money for them or bust.
Shall I go to that doctor and blow on these frauds? No - that wouldn't do. He might tell who told him, and the King and Duke would make it warm for me. Shall I go, private, and tell Mary Jane? No. I don't dare do it. Her face would give them a hint, sure; they've got the money, and they'd slide right out out and get away with it. No - there ain't no better way but one. I got to steal the money, somehow. They ain't going to leave until they've played this family and this town for all they're worth. I'll steal it, and hide it, and when I'm away down the river, I'll write a letter to tell Mary Jane where it's hid.
I ain't comfortable. We better glide out of this, before three in the morning, and clip down the river with what we've got. I'm for knocking off and lighting out.
I think that the bag of gold is enough. I don't want to go no deeper. I don't want to rob a lot of orphans of everything they have... Okay then, we'll stay, but I've had my say on the matter.
So I judged that I have got to do the other thing - lay for them and eavesdrop. About that time, I hear their footsteps coming, and I reached for it under the bed, but it wasn't where I thought it was, so I jumped in behind Mary Jane's frocks and snuggled in amongst the gowns, and stayed perfectly still. They come in and shut the door; and the first think the Duke does is looks under the bed. They sit down, and the king says:
Well what is it? And cut it middling short, because its better for us to be down there a-whooping up in the morning, then up here giving us a chance to talk us over.
What! And not sell the rest of the property? March off like a passel o' fools and leave eight or nine thousand dollars worth o' property laying around just suffering to be scooped in? And all good saleable stuff, too.
They took and shoved the bag through a rip in the straw tick that was under the feather bed, and crammed it in a foot or two amongst the straw and said it would be all right now, because a slave only makes up the feather bed, and only turn the straw tick over about twice a year, so it warn't in no danger of getting stolen, now. But I knowed better. I had it out of there before they were half way downstairs. I groped along to my cubby, and hid it there until I had a chance to do better.
There it is! This is my chance!
I crept to their doors and listened; they were all snoring, so I tiptoes along, and got downstairs all right. I peeped through a crack in the dining room door and saw the men who were guarding the corpse all sound asleep on their chairs. I passed along and the door to the parlour was open; but there was nobody in there but the remainders of Peter. The front door was looked but the key wasn't there. I heard somebody coming down the stairs behind me, and the only place to hide the bag was in the coffin. The lid was shoved along about a foot, so I tucked the bag in and then I run back across the room and in behind the door.
Yes - Mr Lothrop's. Why?
You go along and lay low until nine or half-past nine tonight, and then get them to fetch you home again - tell them you thought of something. If you get here before eleven, put a candle in this window, and if I don't turn up, wait until eleven, and then if I don't turn up that means I'm gone, out of the way, and safe. Then you come out and spread the news, and get them jailed.
The brute! Come - don't waste a minute - not a second - we'll have them tarred and feathered and thrown in the river! But I'll go first.
When Huckleberry Finn sees Mary Jane crying about Peter and everything getting sold, he decides to tell her everything: Well I says to myself at last, I'm going to chance it; I'll own up and tell the truth this time, though it does seem most like setting sown on kag of powder and touching it off to see where you'll go. Then I says:
I'm fixed so I have to travel with them a while longer. If you were to blow on them this town would get me out of their claws, but there'd be another person that you don't know who'd be in big trouble. So we won't blow on them.
Miss Mary Jane, is there a place out of town a little ways, where you could go and stay for three or four days? Don't you holler. Just sit still like a man. I got to tell the truth, and you want to brace up, Miss Mary, because it is going to be hard to take. These uncles of yours ain't no uncles at all - they're a couple of frauds - regular dead-beats.
Here's your opposition line! Here's your two sets of heirs to old Peter Wilks - and you play your money and you take your choice!
Okay then, what tattoos did Peter have on his chest? Who ever knows this is his brother. If you don't you are punished.
Yes sir, I can tell you what is tattooed on his breast. It's just a small, thin, blue arrow - and if you don't look close, you can't see it. Now what do you say - hey?
Hear me just a word - if you please. There's only one way - let's go dig up the corpse and look.
No! We're his brothers, William and Harvey! They're frauds - They are filthy liars!
At last they got out the coffin, and begun to unscrew the lid, and then such another crowding, and shouldering, and shoving there was to scrouge in and get a sight, you never see. I was being held by a person called Hines - he hurt my wrist dreadful, pulling and tugging so, and I reckon he clean forgot I was in the world. I lit out and shinned for the road in the dark, there ain't nobody can tell. I enter the town and a flash comes from Mary Janes window! I found a canoe on the shore and paddled out to the safety of the raft. I laid down and gasped. I was safe! I was free at last!