On my way home from dinner, I already knew the answer was no. As I listen to the washer filling with water. I sit on the couch, stare at my phone, try to think of the words I can say that will soften the blow. All I can come up with is, "Sorry, but no. It just doesn't feel right." I press the send button.A couple minutes later, my phone rings. It's Rachel. Two rings. Three rings, four, five. "Hello," I say. "What the fuck?" Rachel says. "You're not going to do it? This one little thing? You know you're not as great as you think you are.""I don't think I'm great, Rachel. My saying no doesn't mean that.""Whatever. I'm glad this happened. Now, we know what kind of friend you really are."Pause."Well, aren't you going to say anything?" she says. I wonder if this is her way of giving me a chance to keep the friendship going, to keep the tie with Mallory intact."I don't have anything left to say about it," I say. And I hang up. A knot inside of me unravels then, the way a knot does after it's been tugged on and pulled and turned and pried and suddenly, just seems to come loose all on its own.
Slide: 3
Rachel's hand is never far from her phone. Mine is in my purse and I assume it's the same for Mallory. Rachel's phone vibrates often. At one point, after it has shaken itself for her attention, she looks at it, lets out a little gasp, gets up, and says, "I'm so sorry but I have to take this."
"But the really cool thing is me and rachel's daughters have become such close friends. Sometimes, Eileen, they remind me of us when we were young."
And for the rest of the dinner, my mind keeps circling back to that comment. Because, nothing about their daughters reminds me of us, at all.
Back to the Dinner
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