Assignment #4
Storyboard Text
- What I'm hearing Averley, is that you feel like your extended family members don't get along with one another and this affects whether you have contact with them. Is this right?
- That's pretty much how I feel.
- Walk me through what a typical family get together might look like.
- Well, it would probably start off alright with everyone saying how much the kids had grown and lots of hugging. The kids would probably go downstairs to watch TV in the spare bedroom and the adults would chat while I helped my mom in the kitchen.
- Layering Description
- You and your mom would be in the kitchen?
- My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad worked. My mom loves to cook and I have so many great memories of being in the kitchen with her. Unfortunately, the kitchen is closed off from the living room so we can’t hear what is being talked about in the living room. My mom's husband is so critical and he usually starts in on my brother’s around this time.
- You seem to be struggling with feelings as you tell me this. What’s going on for you?
- It makes me feel sad and mad. Last time we visited, my mom’s husband criticized how much time our kids spent on their phones, he told the other kids that they were being too loud and then he stated that my brother works too much and should spend more time with his family.
- It sounds like he was being very critical about you and your brother’s parenting.
- Yes, very much so.
- What was that like for you?
- His comments made me feel like maybe me and the kids weren't good enough. Maybe if I was a better parent, my kids would talk to adults more often and spend less time on their phones. But they were bored! I love my mom but her husband is difficult to get along with.
- Focusing on responses
- It sounds like you are a good mom and that family is very important to you.
- Thanks. For sure! Growing up we spent lots of time together as a family camping, fishing and playing softball.
- That sounds like a great time.
- It was a great…well until my parents divorced anyways. I was about 22 and then as we all got married and in laws were introduced into the family, everything changed.
- Everything changed?
- My parents don’t get along with each other. My brothers and their wives don’t really like my Dad’s wife or my Mom’s husband. It makes getting together very difficult.
- It is. My Mom and Dad both seem to think my sister-in-laws are not good enough for their sons. They regularly state to all of us kids that we don’t bring the grandkids around very often. My Mom and Dad both mention a couple times a year how they won’t be around forever and that we should move back to Medicine Hat.
- That does sound difficult.
- What do you think about that?
- I kinda worry they would treat me and my husband how they treat my brothers if we moved back. Right now we are the favourite family because we don’t live close enough to annoy them.
- When you do visit, and it doesn’t go well, how does this affect your desire to be involved in future family get-togethers?
- It makes me wonder why we even bother to drive over four hours to visit with people that don't treat us nicely. It makes me not want to visit Medicine Hat.
- If somehow you had a magic wand and by waving it you could possibly alter the situation to be the best it could be, what might that look like?
- My parents would see how wonderful my brothers and their wives are. They would see them as good parents and realize they are busy people and can’t visit all the time. At family get togethers, everyone would follow the “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all” rule.
- Invoking Preferences
- Maybe our family gatherings wouldn’t be completely conflict free but we would act respectfully towards one another.
- The End
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