I remember breaking down in front of my dad. I couldn't hold my emotions back anymore, even though I knew my dad would get upset if I cried. He told how I needed to change. He wanted me to experience this moment so that I would change into the man he wanted me to be.
You just need to change your habits son.
I got made fun of at school for my body.
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I then went on my computer and searched up different activities that would help me change my body to be more "fit". This day made me more self-conscious about my appearance and how I needed to hide my true self from others. Like the young men shown in Newsom's film, I felt the need to put on a "mask" to act like my peers. To act like I liked participating in sports and being in the weight room to fit the masculine mold. I felt as though my true self didn't want to be the man with machismo shown in the characters I grew up watching. Patriarchal themes emulated in these characters caused me to experience the culture of toxic masculinity, portrayed in Newsom's film.
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Work Cited: The Mask You Live In. Jennifer Siebel Newsom, Written by Jennifer Siebel Newsom, Jessica Congdon, and Jessica Anthony, interviewed experts: Joe Ehrman, Caroline Heldman, Tony Porter, Michael Kimmel, Madeline Levine, Lisa Eliot, and Jackson Katz, Sundance Film Festival, 2015.
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