Welcome to the Kenyan Land Dispute, where colonial powers are fighting over who has the right to claim this land.
Our first guest tonight is a British representative. Tell us,what makes the British have the right to claim Kenya?
Well, it's quite simple, really. We have a Royal Charter that clearly grants us the right to colonize this land.
Ah, I see. And our next guest is a German representative. Sir, what is your argument for claiming Kenya?
Ja, well, we have the Treaty of Berlin, which also grants us the right to claim this land.
Interesting. And what about the Italians? What gives them the right?
Oh, we don't need any documents or treaties. We just conquered the land fair and square!
And last but not least, we have a French representative. Sir, what is your claim to this land?
Ah, well, you see, we have this beautiful map that clearly shows Kenya as our territory.
I see. And what about the Kenyan people themselves? Do they have any say in this matter?
Oh, come on now. They're just savages. They don't know what's best for them.
Ja, we are here to civilize them and bring them into the modern world.
And don't forget the delicious food and wine we will bring!
And the art and fashion of France will surely elevate their lives.
Well, there you have it folks. Colonial powers fighting over land they have no real right to claim, while ignoring the rights of the people who actually live there.
This has been the Kenyan Land Dispute. Tune in next week for more absurdity from the world of international politics!