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- Welcome to the Kenyan Land Dispute, where colonial powers are fighting over who has the right to claim this land.
- Our first guest tonight is a British representative. Tell us,what makes the British have the right to claim Kenya?
- Well, it's quite simple, really. We have a Royal Charter that clearly grants us the right to colonize this land.
- Ah, I see. And our next guest is a German representative. Sir, what is your argument for claiming Kenya?
- Ja, well, we have the Treaty of Berlin, which also grants us the right to claim this land.
- Interesting. And what about the Italians? What gives them the right?
- Oh, we don't need any documents or treaties. We just conquered the land fair and square!
- And last but not least, we have a French representative. Sir, what is your claim to this land?
- Ah, well, you see, we have this beautiful map that clearly shows Kenya as our territory.
- I see. And what about the Kenyan people themselves? Do they have any say in this matter?
- Oh, come on now. They're just savages. They don't know what's best for them.
- Ja, we are here to civilize them and bring them into the modern world.
- And don't forget the delicious food and wine we will bring!
- And the art and fashion of France will surely elevate their lives.
- Well, there you have it folks. Colonial powers fighting over land they have no real right to claim, while ignoring the rights of the people who actually live there.
- This has been the Kenyan Land Dispute. Tune in next week for more absurdity from the world of international politics!
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