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- Once upon a time, in a land not to far away in a time not to long ago lived a tax avoiding self-sufficient man with his disgruntled wife and two children Hansel and Grettle
- All but one lived a flourishing life living among the trees in the woods that they called home. His wife despised the woods, she despised the trees but most of all she despised the jovial delinquent children of his.
- As Hansel and Grettle grew from infinites to adolescents, their evil step mother craved their death.
- She tried lacing the corners of books with cyanide, so when they would lick their fingers to turn a page they would ingest the deadly poison and die. A perfect plan she thought, but Hansel and Grettle were born into gen z—the only time they pick up a book is to kill the buzzing bee flying around and round.
- I am so lonely and sad, if only I could find true love
- Nothing ever seemed to work.Until one day the evil stepmother over heard Grettle crying in her room.
- The evil step mother stayed up for days on end as she coiled a plan. A plan so ruthless a bird that flew past dropped dead.
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