Waking up was a burden. I went to school each day while my mental health plummeted. Each day I put on a smile for others. Why would I want to put my problems on others?
Just smile and it will be okay
Although I tried to hide it from my parents, I couldn't hide my pain from them. They tried their best to make things fun for me, but I just wanted to be alone.
One night I let hopelessness overcome me. I couldn't keep fighting the voice inside me. The voice pushed me down and made me feel worthless.
You will never succeed...give up...you are only here for others
That morning my parents knew I had to go to the hospital to make sure I was safe. I hated how I made them feel. I cried to them and begged them to not make me go. I was scared they would leave me.
Please I just want to go home
I was questioned by people all day regarding my mental health. When they asked me about it, I realized I never felt peace and the meds I took were making the feeling worse.
And when did you begin to feel like this?
forever....
The next days were filled with doctor, psychiatry, and therapy visits where we were told a gene test could help me.